The 4th of July is on a Wednesday… and it’s ruining my life!

This year the 4^th of July falls right smack in the middle of the work week leaving us full-time working patriots completely dumfounded asking questions like, “We really don't have a 3-day weekend?”  “I seriously have to come in to work on the 5^th?”  “How could America let this happen?!”

It’s as if the Grinch has stolen not only Christmas this year, but also the only holiday where it is socially acceptable to hang out all day in a kiddie pool in my glittered star spangled bikini while double fisting red & blue jello shots.  HOW RUDE!

As I wave goodbye to the annual trip to the lake and say farewell to the idea of blacking out before the fireworks go off… I find myself wondering what the hell I will do this year to survive the 4^th on a Wednesday and soberly drive myself to the office on Thursday morning.

Whatever it is YOU plan to do with your family & friends, here are a few tips to surviving the misplaced holiday this year:

              1.)    Pack a Fantastic Slumber Bag – No matter where you go, be prepared!   Pack the essentials + anything you might need to get you to work the next morning.  A cute little pantsuit tucked away next to your toothbrush, Excedrin, and mouth guard can fit perfectly in a stars & stripes backpack! (Eye mask optional)

              2.)    7 Sips to Success –The Golden Rule:  Remember to stay hydrated.   For every alcoholic drink you finish, take 7 sips of water (sparkling or flat!).  This can be turned into a fun group activity as well; whistles are encouraged.  A very lovely alcoholic Armenian once taught me this in the middle of a lake on a tin boat last summer under the blistering sun.  I’ll never forget her or this rule…

             3.)    Apply & RE-Apply Sunblock – There is nothing worse than being hung over AND sun burnt at the office on Thursday morning. 

             4.)    Set Alarms – Go ahead and set your iPhones NOW with these helpful reminders.  

a.     Noon – Apply SUNBLOCK

b.    2pm –  FUEL UP! There’s nothing worse than a sloppy drunk, don’t forget your 7 sips & a snack!

c.    7pm – BUDDY CHECK!  Do you know where your friends are and what they’re doing?

d.    10pm – NO MORE SHOTS!  Put yourself on beer probation… it is a weeknight!

e.    Midnight – SERIOUSLY no more shots… that was the last one.

f.      2am – Find your slumber bag and hold on tight.  Time to brush your teeth & get your jammies on… no matter where you are!

g.    8am - ** Arguably The Most Important Alarm **  Set a reminder to email your boss that you have suddenly come down with food poisoning… yes, the hot dogs must not have been cooked thoroughly.  You are the most upset about this as you really had every intention of bringing the blue & red bagels to the production mtg this morning…

       5.)  Go big or go home! - If you don't make it to work on Thursday, might as well take Friday off too... so pack up the car and go meet your friends at the lake cuz afterall you deserve a 5-day weekend!  And if you have a hard time convincing yourself of that, just call me - I can rationalize anything.

And now a word from our sponsor,  SmithAgentSmith:

YOLO

May the 4th be with you all! 

xoxo